There is nothing spectacular about the punctuation in this sentence. However, the breaks with the commas, those phrases, cut up the thought of the complete sentence almost as an introduction to what was to come that was so sweetly unexpected. And how often do we see “whelming?” Webster’s Unabridged has two meanings for this, and either or both could fit in this case: “b. to engulf or overcome in the manner of a storm or flood with usually disastrous effect”; “c.: to overcome in thought or feeling .”
The sentence fits here because there is so much thought and emotion wrapped up in so little space that, for me, I would class it as artistry.
Tag Archives: sentence structure
Kathleen Alcott
“I had stepped, wittingly and not, into a new image: a distraction in pale green sequins, passing out of the revolving doors of midtown buildings with the last dinosaurs of publishing, old white men who taught me how to order a martini and from whose fiction mine seemed descended as they touched my knees.”
I love sentences that paint a picture and tell a story. Alcott has managed to do both with this sentence. The colon stops the action of the woman stepping almost seemingly from one era into another. The dress is elegant and symbolic of a time period when people did dress to go downtown or anywhere for that matter. The last dinosaurs of publishing brought to mind when writing a book and getting it published was really special. It was a big deal. It meant something that put an author into another league altogether. And the old white men buying drinks and fondling knees certainly is from a time when that sort of thing, along with swats on the backside were normal and ignored for the most part in society.
This one sentence is so rich and full of life that I can’t seem to let it go.
Kathleen Alcott, “Trapdoor,” Harper’s Magazine. (December 2023). https://harpers.org/archive/2023/12/trapdoor/
Diane Walters - Writer 